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That old mid-life crisis

On August 21st 2011 at the age of 59 I went back to school.  I began a two-year distance degree in psychology for musicians at the University of Sheffield in England. Of course, I had all kinds of anxiety about the program. On the plane on the way to Sheffield, I remember thinking “Is this the dumbest thing I have ever done?”

This whole venture was prompted by an increasing sense of failure in mid-life. You know it’s bad, when you get a twinge of remorse every time you see a certain poster on the subway (“It’s not too late to do what you were born to do!”). When I was at school in my 20’s, a Master’s degree was not that common for performing musicians. I was more focused on trying to get work as a singer than on getting more degrees.


I did register for a Master’s degree from a small American Conservatory back in 1981, funded by the Canada Council.  The experience was not a happy one. I had already spent 10 years as a post-secondary student (BA, Performance Diploma, Opera Diploma), and found myself in serious conflict with my studio teacher. The result: I never got the degree. Instead I went directly to Germany, where I worked in the opera house system for several years.

 

Ten years previously I had thought of going back to school to get that degree. There were always reasons I couldn’t do it. I could never find the right program; I didn’t want to leave Toronto for years at a time; and most important, I had feelings of shame around my marks. I had never put together my GPA and was worried that my marks were too low to merit serious consideration. Imagine my surprise when I finally did calculate my GPA! I had an A average according to the U of T standards at the time. 

 

Well, from the vantage point of life in 2024, that decision to go back to school was one of the smartest things I have ever done. Not only did I love the program at the University of Sheffield, where I graduated with Distinction in 2014, but I went on to a PhD in Music, with a research project in the cognitive psychology of song memory that was published in 2022.

 

So here’s the lesson; Don’t be deterred by shame or inertia from doing what you long to do. It actually is never too late to start.

 

 

 

 

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Location: Toronto, ON, Canada

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